Nothing Left To Say
by sockstar
Summary: Freddie has to come to terms with Carly's relationship with Sam. Pairings: Cam. Freddie -› Carly. Drug use. Swearing. Sexual References.
1. Fell In Love With A Girl

**Nothing Left To Say.**

**Rating: **T

**Notes:** Written for the Creddie Fan Forum Croctober fanfic challenge. 4 chapters.

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**Summary: **Freddie has to come to terms with Carly's relationship with Sam. Cam. Freddie - Carly. Drug use. Swearing. Sexual References.

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"Sam.. dude.. Sam, Sam, hey, Sam, Sam."

"WHAT?"

"Chill bro, seriously, you totally need to try this." Rodney handed Sam a small little pill. Rodney quickly turned around, distracted by a shiny silver balloon floating through the air. They were at Josie's 18th birthday party, she was one of the girls in Sam's history class, and with Carly studying for an important test and needing to be undisturbed as long as possible, Sam had decided that Freddie and her would make an appearance.

"What the hell is this?" Sam put the pill up against her eye, looking at the little logo imprinted on either side, and it's slight blue tinge. She had an idea what it was, but wanted to make sure. People needed to be safe these days. You wouldn't want to take something that ended up being a date rape drug.

"Dude, don't worry, it makes you feel happy. Ecstatic even." Rodney laughed, amused with himself, like he made some kind of monumentally funny inside joke no-one would understand.

"Very clever. Did you come up with that in English class? Whatever." Sam looked back at Rodney.

"On 3."

A simultaneous countdown. "3. 2. 1." They both stuck a pill in their mouth, took a swig of the beer bottles they were holding, and down the little pills went. The rest of the night followed in a blur of music, alcohol, laughter and dancing.

After the booze ran out, most of the party people followed. Sam woke up in a daze on the floor of the living room. "How do I look? Rod. Roddy. Yo!?" Her fingers reached over and snapped twice against the back of his face. He responded by slowly tilting his head over in her direction.

"Sam, you look hot. Apart from the messed up hair, the red eyes and the drool hanging off the side of your face, you look smoking hot. I'd totally do you." Rodney slurred, howls of laughter rebounding off the floor they were currently sprawled out on.

"You would do anything with 2 legs and a heartbeat you pervert. I, on the other hand, am a bit more picky." Sam tried to fix him with a serious death stare, but it didn't last before it turned into a stammering, incomprehensible series of vague insults hurled by both sides, although Sam felt that it was nice to be complimented once in a while, even if it was in a pig-headed fashion.

"Dude, give me a chance. I'd rock your world back onto the straight and narrow. A one way trip back from Planet Lesbo." Rodney made a pelvic thrust, his smirk returned, followed by more laughter. Rodney got up, took one look at the girl on the floor before grabbing her hand and dragging her up.

"I think I'm gonna puke. And no-one uses the term Planet Lesbo. Ever." Sam went green across her face.

"Is the idea of doing it with a man that wrong? What next? Start wearing combat boots and riding a bike? Sam, get away from the couch. The bathroom is around the corner somewhere. You got a ride home?" He watched Sam stumble over to the bathroom, before unleashing a torrent of junk food and beer into the bowl.

"Where's that nub Benson.. he's supposed to take me home." The thought of relying on Freddie caused a violent stomach upheaval.

"Oh man, he was gone about an hour ago, before midnight. He left with Tareen." Rodney looked around, cracked open a beer bottle and took a gulp.

"Tareen? The little bastard probably spiked her drink. Dragging her unconscious body out the door as fast as he could I'm sure. It's about the only way he knows how to score." More vomiting.

Rodney had finished the bottle, he chucked it randomly towards one of the many piles littered around the house. "Yeah, she wasn't exactly walking upright, that's for sure. Sucks to be her. I'd drive you, but I'm hammered. I'd fail just about every drug test known to man if the cops picked me up, and I'm on probation. If you wanna crash, go ahead, my room is on the left at the end of the hall. Be warned, I sleep naked." He didn't sound like it was a joke either.

"Fuck that." Rodney was a friend and all, but if she passed out again, Sam didn't exactly trust him to keep his hands off her.

"I'm not walking either. It's too far." Sam whined as she looked around, but Rodney was gone. Sam took her phone out from her pocket. At least no-one stole anything this time.

"Hey Cupcake."

"Don't Cupcake me."

"Princess?"

"Let me guess, you got smashed, passed out and don't have a ride. About right?" Carly's tone had an air of annoyance, rather than malice or anger.

"Look, I didn't even know about this party until it was happening. I'll make it up to you later. I promise."

"Where are you? Who are you with?"

"At Rodney's."

Sigh. "I'll be there in 10 minutes." Sam attempted to say thanks, but the line was dead.

Carly pulled up the street, and her feelings of annoyance quickly fled as she saw her blond girlfriend waiting out on the side of the road. Carly opened the door, and Sam managed to get in on the second attempt.

"All I want is to know where you are. You know how much I worry. I want you to be safe." Carly leaned over, and planted a kiss on Sam's cheek.

Carly recoiled in mock horror. "You smell awful."

"Well, I think you know how we can fix that problem Carls." In her drunken state, Sam was more laughable than seductive, and Carly giggled as she turned the key and started the car.

"I'll take you out the back of the building, and hose you down till you don't smell anymore." Carly was concentrating on the road, and didn't notice Sam pouting.

"But having a shower together is heaps more fun. Plus I wear the pants in this relationship." This time Sam had got her seduction act together, and it was working. Carly thought back to all the times they had done that previously. The combination of having a shower just for her inside her bedroom, and Sam staying over during school weeks had lead to more than a few such incidents in the past weeks and months.

"Well, just this once. But only because it's too cold outside." Carly quickly took her eyes off the road to poke her tongue out at Sam, before Carly got all serious again.

"What happened to Freddie? I haven't seen him all night. He was at the party right?" Carly was worried about Freddie's behavior, he was becoming detached from his existing circle of friends, going with Sam to wild parties, and had even managed to start a few fights at school, Freddie was now generally more rambunctious and crude. Needless to say, his mother's instructions weren't being followed at all. The only good thing, was that Carly had convinced Freddie that he still needed to keep his grades up, which meant he only went out at most twice a week.

"Yeah, Rodney said he left with Tareen, even though she couldn't stand up straight." Sam didn't really care one way or the other, if Tareen was dumb enough to accept Freddie's advances, even when smashed, that was Tareen's problem, not hers.

"Ms Benson will be pissed if he hasn't shown up by now, every 20 minutes until 11pm she was knocking asking if I knew where he was, like I'm his keeper or something. Freddie needs to get his act together, he's getting a reputation, and that isn't good at all. We need to talk to him. I hope at least he called and told her he was okay."

"Please.. for me?" Sam fluttered her eyelashes at Carly, parodying Carly's ability to control their rebellious male best friend with a single phrase, then started laughing.

"Joke all you want, but it works." Carly was focused on the road, the white lines on the black asphalt blinked past one by one, and soon they were home.

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Chapter 2 Teaser:

_"It's not right. People are starting to talk about you. I'm worried about you as well, it's not healthy behaviour. Once rumours get started, especially ones like this, they could follow you for years." Carly had hoped Freddie would be over this by now. "All it would take is one of your party girls crying rape and you could get your life ruined." Carly was almost pleading with him to see her side._


	2. Forever Blue

**Chapter Name: **Forever Blue

Thanks to **CreddieShipper**, **SquishyCool **and **Teasers **for their reviews. Thanks :D

**Dragonlord, Eeveelution**: Well, you might be able to imply and learn a bit from this chapter, but it's a big part of the last 2 chapters.

**Limstella**: Thank you very much, I really try hard to keep my spelling correct, and make the vocab believable and in character (thanks to Squishy for helping me in this area), so it's nice to have it noticed.

**Johnny**: This will have another update towards the end of this week, with the final chapter around the 29th, thank you for reading.

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"No lunch again Puckett?" Freddie sneered over at Sam, as he took a sandwich from his backpack.

"Couldn't get laid without the girl being in a coma again Benson?" Sam fired back. Freddie glared back, but waited till he finished chewing, good manners of course.

"Tareen wanted me. It's not like I popped her or anything, and I was safe. She should be so lucky. I even went down on her for breakfast the next day. She really liked that. Maybe you could give me some pointers, y'know, help me improve my existing high quality performance?"

Freddie turned to Carly to explain, jabbing a finger towards Sam. "She is always going on about how good at it she is. Is she talking shit or is Sam the real deal?"

Sam's face scrunched up in a ball of disgust, which twisted into one of joy as Carly plopped a brown paper bag in front of her face. Carly just tutted her disapproval at him.

"It's front and center douche. If you need help with that, you're even more of a fag than I thought you were already." Sam was hungry, and Freddie was interrupting her from eating whatever Carly had brought for her today.

This was rapidly escalating into a altercation Carly did not want to hear during lunch, so she swiftly changed the subject. "Freddie, how can she complain when she doesn't even know where she is. It's fucked up." Carly was sitting next to Sam, who opened the bag.

"Oh Carls, you didn't have to." Sam purred, as she pulled out a Burrito.

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing."

"Language.. I'm in trouble now." Freddie was nonchalant. What did he care? If they ever said no, he stopped.

"Tareen wasn't that drunk. Rodney was probably high again.. you wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you Sam? Tareen never said no. I tell you what's funny, she talks so fast at school and whatever, but when I was screwing her all she did was call out my name slowly, over and over again." That look of disgust came sweeping back onto Sam's face, and Carly had to force herself not to do the same. None of them were virgins anymore, but what Freddie had described, was nothing like what Freddie used to to believe in, love, romance and all that.

"It's not right. People are starting to talk about you. I'm worried about you as well, it's not healthy behavior. Once rumors get started, especially ones like this, they could follow you for years." Carly had hoped Freddie would be over this by now. "All it would take is one of your party girls crying rape and you could get your life ruined." Carly was almost pleading with him to see her side.

"You are such a nice guy Freddie, just find a nice girl, please. Wendy kinda likes you from what I've heard. Ask her out." Carly was only trying to help, Freddie wasn't doing it out of some evil streak, just to blow off steam, and perhaps finding a girl he could stay with for a while might give him a better avenue for that than drunken party girls.

"I heard she's a total slut. Right up your alley Freddifer." Under the table Carly nudged Sam with her elbow.

"What?" Sam looked over at Carly. "I'm just trying to help Freddie move on. I'm thinking if Freddie thought she was a slut and easy, he'd go for her in a heartbeat. So sue me." The truth was Wendy wasn't like that at all, her interest in Freddie had grown after they got paired up in a handful of classes together, with Freddie always willing to help her out or teach her anything she'd missed in class. Freddie could get into fights with football players, get detention, get drunk, or blow off any of his responsibilities with nary a thought, but he'd always be laid low by a request from a pretty face who asked him nicely.

Freddie rolled his eyes at the pair of girls, "Alright. I'll stop it all. I won't go to anymore parties. I'll stay home with Carly, and we can read some Sylvia Plath together whilst we listen to Bikini Kill. Maybe we can have Tofu for dinner, and don't fucking talk about Wendy like that." As soon as he finished the outburst, he knew he'd regret it, as Sam was always ready to pounce on any weakness, perceived or real, and deliver a scything emotional blow to his ego. Hopefully he could recover his wits after whatever Sam decided to throw at him this time.

"Aww poor widdle baby.. is Benson still jealous I'm getting more Carly action than he ever will? Don't even think I'll let ya join in. Ever. Mama don't share." Sam punctuated this attack by quickly grabbing Carly from the back of her neck, and pulling her in for a quick kiss. Freddie tried to hide his instantaneous jealous glare, and barely managed to do so before Carly turned back, looking at him.

"I told you I'm cool with it. I'm here now, and I'll be here no matter what." Freddie knew Sam was teasing, trying to get a further reaction out of him, and he decided to play it safe. Neither Sam nor Carly had identified themselves as liking 'just girls', and the general thought around the school was that perhaps it was just a temporary situation or a form of teenage rebellion for Sam, and Carly's spirit of exploration, that the entire thing would resolve itself normally given time, after the novelty of the 'bisexual teen girls' label had worn off. Some thought it might be, for want of a better word, a publicity stunt for their webshow.

Even though Carly could detect a hint of frustration, Freddie was trying the best he could, at least in regards to their own relationship, and that was the Freddie that Carly knew and liked. Carly threw him a quick look, an implication that she understood his feelings, and was sympathetic to his cause.

"But if you ever make a sex tape, I'll edit it for you. No charge." It was a joke, but wasn't delivered at all skilfully. It was a trick right out of the Sam Puckett 'deflection by use of humor' playbook. Hopefully Sam would get pissed off at him, start an argument, and hopefully have the entire subject of his feelings dropped completely. Instead she threw a bean at him, landed square between his eyes, then she ran off to taunt Gibby. It was better than nothing at least, no Sam meant he was safe from emotional abuse for now. Well, pain caused intentionally at least.

Carly flicked the bean off his head, saying to him, "Yeah, sorry Freddie. I mean, I'd be cool with letting you watch a few times, or even joining in on special occasions, but I don't wear the pants in the relationship." Carly laughed, then she looked back, watching as Sam was circling Gibby, waiting for a moment to pounce for a wedgie or some other act of cartoonish violence. Her joke didn't cheer Freddie up, and Carly felt that he needed to talk about it, so she pressed on, hoping to get him to open up.

"I know what happened hurt you, especially when I told you so often I didn't want to ruin our friendship, then went and jumped into bed with my other best friend, but you need to slow down. You are such a nice guy, now that I'm with Sam, you really are my only best friend, and I know I am to you, and I don't like you doing anything that might change how I feel about you."

"I'm a 'nice guy' Carly? Really. I'm such a 'nice guy' you rejected me for how many years? Then turned lesbian? Some nice guy I am. I don't deserve a 'nice girl' so don't bother hooking me up with anyone." Freddie just swirled his drink around, looking down, not wanting to see Carly looking at him.

Freddie sat there for a while, and after he looked up, he decided it was pointless trying to hide his feelings from Carly, who could read him like a book. He also didn't want her thinking he was angry with her.

"Sam is right. I hate it. All the shit I've been pulling, it's to try and get away from it all. You, Carly, you aren't the problem please believe me, I'm not blaming you, it's not your fault. It's me. Maybe it's time to calm down for a few months, try and fix my problems instead of hiding from them." Freddie sat there, looking circumspect, he figured that mindless, drug and alcohol fueled sex and mayhem was far less important than keeping Carly happy, and perhaps it was time to stop the crap and man up.

Carly sighed. She felt horrible for him, Sam pulled the rug out from under Freddie, and it crushed him, Sam never let him forget it. "If you ever need to talk about anything, I'm always here for you." Her heart cried out for Freddie, and Carly wanted nothing more than for him to be the happy, lovable friend she'd known for years, but in the pit of her stomach, knew that she was the cause, even if Freddie absolved her of responsibility.

Their lunch was almost over. Carly took their rubbish over to the bins, whilst Sam sauntered over to Freddie, who was still sitting at the table, looking pensive, but getting his books ready for his next class.

"What do you want?" Freddie wasn't really in the mood for her games, not now. Was Freddie ever in the mood for her games? Was anyone?

Sam looked over her shoulder to see if anyone was watching, Carly was talking with one of the other members of her science class, before leaning over to whispering range next to Freddie's ear. To everyone else, they just saw Sam Puckett threatening Fredward Benson again, and took no notice.

"I had Carly in the shower with me this morning." Sam followed it up with a light punch, then held him fast by the shoulders, followed by filling Freddie in, with graphic detail, checking every so often to make sure Carly was still occupied, and Sam continued, disclosing what her hands had done to Carly, and what Carly's _mouth_ had done to Sam in the early hours of the day. She laughed, a pained look on his face, as she looked down at the growing tightness in his pants.

"Oh fuck off. That's not fair Sam! Let me go!" Betrayed by his body, Freddie shrugged Sam away, then ran off.

Carly wandered back over to Sam, hugging the blond haired girl around the waist.

"Where did Freddie go off to?"

"Bathroom. He had to relieve himself." Sam deadpanned.

"Eww TMI." They walked off, to the last few classes for the day.

Freddie, unable to get the images out of his head, he despised what Sam would make him feel. He looked himself in the mirror, and hated what he saw, a weak, pathetic child who would rather act out about his emotions or situations, rather than facing and dealing with them.

Freddie splashed cold water over his face, and decided to skip the rest of the day, wanting to just get out of there.

"Way to stand up and be a man... fuck it, Carly would understand, she's the only one who really does understand me anymore." Sam just attacked him, Spencer was there to help him keep his mind off his problems, his mother just made sure he was 'hygenic' and kept his grades up, but Carly knew him for what he was.

When he he didn't show up for their late classes, Carly made a note to ask Freddie why.

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Chapter 3 Teaser:

_"It's just a silly crush Carls, Freddie will get over it, why do you care so much?"_

_"Apart from the fact he's my best friend? It might have started off as a crush when we were younger, but it's not that simple any more."_

_"Are you in love him?"_


	3. Let's Stay Together

**Chapter Name: **Let's Stay Together

Thanks to **Drag0nL0rd**,**and ****SquishyCool**for their reviews. Thanks :D

**Invader Johnny**, **Teasers:** Freddie might have the right to be an ass, but Carly is trying to impress upon him that he might be taking it too far. Carly does love Sam, and isn't afraid of her either. Sam and Freddie have always had an intense relationship, and with Freddie starting to pick up aspects of her personality due to his rebellious behaviour, it's like adding oil to a fire.

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Carly was alone in the Shay household, spread out on the couch, watching some crappy tv show at 3am on Saturday morning when she heard the door unlock. Freddie had gone back home hours earlier, and was likely fast asleep by now, Spencer was off at some art exhibition in Denver, only asking Carly to not throw any parties whilst he was out of the house, leaving the only other possible person to be attempting entry via the front door, as Sam Puckett.

Carly looked over, waited for Sam to enter, and smiled at the girl with the long blond curls, as Sam walked over, and allowed herself to be taken in Carly's arms.

"Your mother again?" Carly never understood how someone could be that way towards their child, Sam wasn't a perfect daughter, but she was a hell of a lot better than most people would be in her situation.

"Yeah, this time she called me a whore and threw a vase at me. Apparently liking chicks makes you a whore in her eyes, but somehow sleeping with guys for their money doesn't. Hypocritical bitch."

"Sam, don't talk about your mom that way." Carly chided, then stroked Sam's hair, Carly loved running it through her hands.

"I'm just sick of her shit. I can't wait to leave her behind for good." They lazed in silence for a few minutes, before Carly spoke up.

"Sam, we need to talk about something."

Sam was instantly alert, 'talk' was code for 'about to start a fight', and Sam hated fighting with Carly, because it usually meant she had done something to hurt her.

"What have I done now." It was inevitable to Sam, as Carly had rarely, if ever, caused problems, and instead simply put up with Sam's stubborn, petulant and impulsive behavior. Sam tensed, and prepared for perfect, sweet Carly Shay, to inform Samantha Puckett of yet another Samantha Puckett problem or mistake.

Carly's demeanor turned serious, "It's about Freddie."

"You're leaving me for him, he's invented some mind control love ray and zapped you with it." Sam rolled her eyes, trying to defuse the impending situation with humor.

"This is serious. He told me about what you did to him at lunch, and the other stuff you say to him." Sam and Carly sat up, detaching their hands and arms from each others hair and bodies.

"I'm just playing with him, he shouldn't take it so seriously."

"Do you know what you are doing? I rejected him for years, told him time and time again that I didn't think I could risk our friendship. Then I got together with you, and we've been friends even longer than I have with Freddie. Now you remind him of it, you tell him what we do together, all the things that he won't be able to. And not just the shower stuff, but the holding, the kissing, the places we go together, alone." Sam just rolled her eyes again.

"It's just a silly crush, that's all it ever was. He's just using you as an excuse to act like an idiot because of his crazy mother."

"Don't roll your eyes at me. That's crap Sam, and you know it." One of the nice things about fighting at 3am, was that neither girl had the energy to stand up, and with it, the risk of shouting, or getting angry enough to storm out.

"So what, it's up to him to deal with it. If he can't, he should go hang out with his little nerd posse, and just forget about girls until he runs off to some nerd college on the other side of the country and can fall in love with as many geek chicks as he wants to."

"Sam, it doesn't help him deal with it, when you constantly remind him of it. It's like you need him to know that you won, and he lost. He was more supportive of us than even Spencer was, he never told me that I shouldn't be with you, he hasn't threatened to leave, never tried to take advantage of me when I got drunk at parties, he's never so much as kissed me on the lips, and he kept our secret, Freddie doesn't deserve to have our relationship thrown in his face ever chance you get." Carly remembered the events that lead up to Freddie, then later Spencer, finding out about them well, and the aftermath.

Freddie had walked in on them making out one day, and kept their secret safe, until Spencer found out as well, and they decided they might as well tell everyone, not many were surprised though, most of the other people at school had just assumed it was happening anyway.

"Are you blaming me for his behavior?" Sam was beginning to feel like she was being targeted unfairly, and cornered to accepting blame.

Carly knew that Sam would either get defensive, or run if she felt she was being attacked, so she had to divert the conversation to helping Freddie. "I'm not blaming you, I'm just saying you need to act nicer towards him. He's still your friend, and for so long as well, he has helped you out before, now you need to return the favor. I know you don't set out to deliberately make him hurt that much, you probably think it's just part of your banter and fun, but you're hurting him inside, and by stopping, you'd be helping him."

"It's just a silly crush, Freddie will get over it Carls, why do you care so much?"

"Apart from the fact he's my best friend? It might have started off as a crush when we were younger, but it's not that simple anymore."

"Are you in love him?"

"I'm not 'in love' with him, but I do love him, and don't want to see him hurt like this. Deep down I know you feel the same way and I'm just trying to point you in the right direction. Can you help him out on this, please.. for me?" Carly then pouted for maximum emotional impact, and it was a look that no-one with a heart could reject.

Sam didn't know that Carly _had_ been in love with Freddie before. But her heart was being pulled on 2 sides, and when Sam came over that fateful night and confessed, Carly couldn't refuse Sam, she never could, and Freddie couldn't compete with that, and Carly's decision was made for her.

Carly sometimes wondered what might have been, if she just threw herself at Freddie that night when he admitted that he loved her, to grab him, he would kiss her over and over, then she would take his hand, whisper 'do you want to come back to my room?' he would nod, and walk down the stairs, he'd place her ever so gently on her bed, and they would have made love together for the first time.

In all probability, Sam would have moved on, justifying her love for Carly as being a simple crush that unveiled Sam's sexuality to herself, they could all laugh about it when Sam found someone else. Freddie would be ecstatic, he would love Carly forever and a day, and Carly would love him right back, wondering why she even had doubts about Sam being able to move on.

Carly had been pacing around the studio, trying to gather her thoughts about his revelation, instead of just opening her heart's emotions, she paced, walking away to think, when he had grabbed her by both shoulders, looked into her eyes, and they both started to lean in for a kiss... when Freddie suddenly stopped, he felt her hesitance flicker for less than a second, somehow he _knew_ she was conflicted, he had his own instincts as well and pulled her into a hug instead.

At the point of no return, when Carly's brain and heart and hormones were screaming at her to make a choice, Carly kissed him on the cheek, and they started talking.

They had a long conversation which ultimately ended with Carly denying her feelings for Freddie temporarily, or so she figured, because of that tiny doubt nagging away in her mind, that Sam would be hurt if she did so, based on some kind of gut instinct that no-one else but her would pick up.

Carly knew that Freddie would wait, and that Sam would be reluctant to discuss any of her feelings, to reveal what was causing her instincts to flare up, when Sam eventually did, her internal battle was over. Sam had 'won' and Freddie had 'lost'.

Freddie busting in on them had blown all her plans to gently reveal their relationship to Freddie out of the water, and launched his downward spiral, of which Sam was always happy to help with, going to parties, drinking and fighting together like they were one person, Sam angry at the world just because, and Freddie angry at himself for not being good enough in his own eyes.

It was a huge mess, with Freddie reveling in his newfound freedom, Sam glad to have a new drinking buddy at night and an easy punching bag the next morning, and Carly fruitlessly trying to intervene on both sides.

Carly would never speak of it to either of them, not with Freddie, he could never know how close he came, if he'd just ignored his own conscience, his own instinct, and kissed Carly anyway, he'd have turned his dreams into reality, but deep inside, that wasn't the man Freddie had become, and to do so would betray the trust and friendship they had worked so long to build, that was his burden, in becoming the person Carly had loved, he had grown in a way which meant that her love was denied from being returned.

Freddie would hope and hurt and sacrifice himself for decades just for the chance he might end up with her, no, Carly couldn't tell him, because it would give him another dream that ultimately would only pain him more.

Not with Sam, because it would gnaw away at her, a girl who took years to trust, would always wonder when she looked at Carly and Freddie together, if she was being played for a fool, and it would inevitably destroy their relationship. This was a secret to take to her grave, or at least something close to it. Carly's heart was now locked to one Samantha Puckett, and she would deal with the consequences of that action for the rest of her life, starting by trying to get Freddie back to being the young man she no longer loved, yet still did.

"Fine. I'll stop teasing the doofus. It looks like Freddie isn't the only person that works on. It's real witchery you got there Cupcake."

"I know this might be hard for you, but Freddie needs our help. Just remember that he's become good at hiding his problems, and that we are all friends, no matter what happens. As long as we stick together, every thing is going to be fine."

"You know what they say, s_tickin' together is what good waffles do!_"

"Sam."

Admonished, Sam became semi-serious, "Okay, I get it, no need to lay it on thick. I trust you, I'll help him out. If he gets all emotional and crap, I reserve the right to laugh in his face." Sam pulled Carly over, and hugged her, just as Carly yawned.

"That's all I'm asking, be nice, _yawn,_ I'm sleepy Sam, I'm just gonna lie here, if that's okay with you?" Even with Spencer knowing about them, Sam still preferred to sleep on the couch when Spencer was there as well, which was most of the time, it was less awkward that way. Plus it was a really comfy couch. Now Carly was just too lazy to get up, and that meant Sam wasn't going anywhere either, with Carly lying by her side, her head resting in the crook of Sam's neck.

"I wouldn't have it any other way babe. _Yawn_." It was contagious. Sam reached over to grab the remote, and flicked the off button. It shut down with a beep, and the room was plunged into darkness.

"Love you Sam." Carly then closed her eyes, and started to drift off to sleep.

"Love you too, Cupcake." Sam watched her for a minute, kissed the top of Carly's head, then put her own head down, and was out like a light.

_to be concluded_

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Thanks for reading, R&R please :D

Teaser: _"Fuck off Sam, I'm not in the mood for your shit. And if I want to jerk off in the privacy of my own room, I fucking WILL! And if it's Carly? So fucking what? You never stop reminding me it's as close as I'm going to get, so FUCK YOU!" Sam pounded on a door a few more times, Freddie knew he was probably in for a fight regardless, for what he didn't know or care, just that her tone of voice indicated her anger, so he might as well yell at her first._

Final chapter will probably be uploaded in about 9 days.


	4. You Can't Always Get What You Want

**Chapter Name: **You Can't Always Get What You Want

Thanks to all the reviewers:** Eeveelution-Fangirl, SquishyCool, Drag0nL0rd, KeyLimePie14, plug in baby57, teasers, Invader Johnny** and anyone else who reviewed.

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Spencer had been on his way back by plane and arrived early that morning shortly after. Whilst Carly and Spencer went grocery shopping, Sam went over to the Benson apartment, and picked the lock. She went in, made her way to the door of Freddie's bedroom, and found it locked. Sam could hear Freddie making noise inside his room, and so gave him a warning.

"You better not be jerking off to a picture of Carly in there Benson, you have 10 seconds to get decent, then I'm coming in there to get you." Sam jiggled the handle a few times to emphasis her point.

"Fuck off Sam, I'm not in the mood for your shit. And if I want to jerk off in the privacy of my own room, I fucking WILL! And if it's Carly? So fucking what? You never stop reminding me it's as close as I'm going to get, so FUCK YOU!" Sam pounded on a door a few more times, Freddie knew he was probably in for a fight regardless, for what he didn't know or care, just that her tone of voice indicated her anger, so he might as well yell at her first.

Freddie wasn't doing anything that required an effort to become 'decent' he was just tapping away on his computer, coding for the iCarly site. He knew what was about to happen, so was in the process of saving everything, when Sam burst in the door.

Sam grabbed the laptop, shut the top and flung it onto his bed, ripping the cord out of the power socket. It didn't really matter, the internal battery would keep it on for hours, but it was more a statement of intent than anything

"What the fuck is your problem Puckett?" Freddie stood up, staring down at the blonde haired girl, who whilst short in stature, was large in presence.

Sam spoke through gritted teeth, "I'm here to talk."

"About what, how I'm a loser, how no-one will ever love me, how my mother is crazy, save it, because I've heard it all before." Freddie didn't want yet another Puckett motivational speech.

"I'm not going to talk about that shit. Even if you are a loser that no-one will love with a crazy-ass mother. I'm talking about Carly."

"You won. I lost. Sam Puckett always plays to win, Fredward Benson always loses. What's to talk about?" Freddie jabbed Sam in the chest, just below her neck, rocking Sam back on her heels for a moment.

"You never had a chance with her anyway dork, same as before. Same now. You can't lose something you never had."

Freddie was exasperated, he muttered under his breath, "You'll never understand."

"Why do you care so much? Why have you flipped out about this? It's not like Carly wasn't with other people before me. What was so special about me that caused you to go nuts and turn into a pale imitation of me?"

"Taking a fucking guess. It's not that hard."

Sam just stood there, her shoulders shrugged. Freddie just sighed.

"You were supposed to be my friend. Now think about what friends aren't supposed to do to other friends? Fuck, with the way you treat me, I don't even know why I still consider you a friend." Freddie rolled over to lay down on his bed, after moving his laptop back onto the floor.

"I'm not following."

"I could tell this to Jeremy, to Shane, to Gibby, hell, even Jonah would understand what I'm saying."

"Just spit it out Fredweird."

"Friends don't call their friends losers, no-hopers and all that other shit and mean it." Sam was shocked, she had never really thought Freddie had taken that to heart, it was to her, always part of their game, their fun, so they could both let off some steam by attacking each other rather than Carly, or their mothers, or Spencer or someone else.

"What the fuck? I don't mean all that shit Benson."

Freddie just stared back, with an 'are you fucking kidding?' look on his face.

"You really think I did? That I meant that stuff, to the guy who has my back now, even when he wanted to run off with some chick, oh thanks by the way for staying at Rodney's party, I had to get Carly to pick me up."

"You could have fooled me. I thought you were staying with Rodney."

"You remember when we fought those football jerks together?" Sam and Freddie were together at a party one night, when some footballers from Ridgeway's biggest rivals showed up, the leader, the QB, had grabbed Sam's ass and tried to kiss her, Freddie ran over and punched the guy in the face before Sam had a chance to teach him a lesson, and they started a wild fight.

"Yeah, I was just angry about what he did to you."

"You broke that guy's wrist, and we won the game that week against them. I bet their coach was pissed when he found out why their Quarterback had a snapped wrist, their Tight End had a cracked rib, and their middle Linebacker broke his arm and all 3 were going to miss the game. You were awesome, you beat the shit out of that asshole."

"Well, you did fight 2 of them at once."

"We did it together. Now, tell me Benson, is that stuff I say really the problem? You never really had much of an issue with it when we were younger."

"Look, it's part of the problem." Sam could understand that, thinking to herself that maybe she'd been taking it too far when she was talking about Carly.

"Okay, what's the other part?"

"Carly."

"What about Carly?" Sam knew from what Carly had told her the night before what was probably on his mind, but needed to hear it from him before she could do anything about it.

"Why didn't you tell me? You hid it from me. Carly wanted to tell me, and you made her hide it."

"Who cares? You found out eventually."

"Yeah, walking in on my two best friends making out in the studio is by far the best way to find out about their relationship."

"Fucking spit it out Freddork. Why did that moment fuck you up so badly you started acting like you have been lately? The girls, the booze, the fighting. You are starting _fights _with guys bigger and stronger than you even when I'm not there, and sometimes you get your ass kicked, you are lucky you haven't broken any bones. What on earth possessed you to start.. acting like me?" Sam was right up in his face now, she was demanding an answer.

Freddie softly replied back, "Carly never told you did she?"

"Told me what?"

"I guess I should thank her for that, I can only imagine just how you would have acted if you knew."

"Knew WHAT? Tell me Benson. Now." Now was delivered strongly, a tone that implied no more chances, no more time wasting, that if Freddie didn't answer just as she asked, there would be pain until he did.

"I swear to god, if you use this against me, I'm done. Finished. I'll go jump off the roof."

Sam rolled her eyes, she was doing that an awful lot lately. Maybe it comes with deflection via humor. "Fine." After she'd finished rolling her eyes, the look Sam had in her eyes when they met with Freddie wasn't flippant, it wasn't a 'I'm just saying this to get you to tell me', it was a promise, and agreement.

"I told her I loved her." Freddie stared up at the ceiling.

"You've told her you loved her since you were 12 years old."

"I stopped. I knew it was creeping her out. That wasn't even love anyway."

"Okay, so why is this a big secret."

"How long before I found out, did you get together with Carly." They both knew the answer. It was roughly a month.

"2 months before I found out, I told Carly I loved her. No crush, no infatuation, I was in love with Carly. I couldn't sleep without thinking of her, when she talked to me I felt alive, when she touched me I could live off that touch for a week, Carly makes me feel happy, made me forget the bad things, and when she wasn't there, I was sad, and when I did sleep, I dreamed of her. I still do sometimes." Freddie was back lying on the bed again, reliving the moment and the subsequent pain.

"What did Carly do?" Sam knew pretty much exactly what Freddie was talking about, it had taken all of her not inconsiderable courage to own up to Carly as well.

Freddie and closed his eyes, remembering. "You remember that Friday you left with your mother to visit Melanie? I wore a hole in the floor gathering my courage, before I asked Carly if we could talk, apparently Spencer went over to Socko's for the night, so I knew I had to tell her then. We were in the studio. When I told her, she walked over, we hugged longer than we ever had before, and she kissed me."

"Carly kissed you?" Sam was intrigued, Carly hadn't told her the story, and even though they were as close as any two people could be, Sam understood the reason. This wasn't her story to tell, it was Freddie's.

"On my cheek." Freddie's arm moved involuntarily, his hand reaching out to caress the spot Carly had kissed him. He left out revealing their 'near-kiss' for Sam's benefit.

"I could tell what her answer was going to be. It's kinda funny, we were sitting on the beanbag I caught her making out with you on." Freddie stifled a laugh, that was a very different kiss that time, before he went on," Carly held my hand, and wrapped her arms around me, so I knew we were still close, and we spoke softly. I knew what was coming, but she knew I needed to hear it. So she told me, in a round-a-bout way, considering we talked till after 4am, that she couldn't risk hurting me, losing me, that we had been friends too long to risk getting into a relationship. Friends too long." Freddie rolled the words around in his mouth, trying them in different ways in his head, seeing if he could make more sense of it.

Then Sam saw him smile, that trademark Benson smile, it was the smile she had not seen in months, that he gave when he was contented and happy, "We actually fell asleep in the studio, Carly still wrapped around me. When I woke up, she was still asleep. The first thing that hit me was the smell of her hair. When I opened my eyes, I was looking right at her, I could see her breathing, her body rising and falling, her mouth moving just so, Carly is beautiful you know. Those few moments before I remembered how we ended up there were some of the happiest in my life." The smile faded, just like it would have after those few moments in the studio.

"I still don't see what this has to do with me Benson." Freddie thought it was pretty clear, but by now there was no point in arguing.

Instead, Freddie just breathed in, and exhaled, "If it was because she couldn't risk our friendship, then why was she making out with you 2 months later?" Freddie reached up and jabbed his finger at Sam.

"You know why Samantha?" He added sarcastically. "Because it didn't have anything to do with friendships. You knew her before me. You were friends longer. It wasn't that. I just wasn't good enough. For whatever reason, and don't say because I'm a guy, that's bullshit, Carly doesn't like girls in general, just you. I can tell. I don't think she would have _ever _considered a girl whose name wasn't Samantha Puckett."

Now Freddie was up off the bed, sitting up, across from Sam in his chair. "I wasn't good enough for the girl I loved, that I followed unconditionally, that I never asked for anything in return, for my love, or my friendship. Do you know what that means Sam?"

"No?"

"Carly, who knows me better than anyone else knows me, my most inner secrets, my most intimate thoughts, rejected me. Spencer, Carly, my mother and other random people, they all say 'oh Freddie, just be yourself.' But now I know that I can't, or at least I think I can't. Because if 'being myself' isn't good enough for Carly, then I'll never be good enough for anyone, and I refuse to humiliate myself, and trick the other person, by faking it, or hiding parts of myself. You say it yourself, over and over, no-one will ever love me. So I haven't bothered trying. I've just been using them." Freddie just looked down, holding back, trying not to cry in front of Sam as he became racked with guilt and regret at his behavior.

"Now look Sam, this might sound like I'm blaming Carly. But I'm not."

"Okay?" If there was one thing Sam wasn't very good at, it was 'feelings'. Sam pretty much decided to just let him talk.

"For whatever reason, those rules, I wasn't good enough for her to break them. To force myself past those barriers. You were. There was something about you that caused Carly to break them all down, whilst I got left behind. I'm not blaming you either, I just wasn't good enough."

Sam wasn't expecting such a... confession, but essentially it was what she was here to do. To support Freddie, not to insult him, to call him those things. "Freddie, I don't really mean it when I say those things. I was just playing around."

"How can you not. I'm pathetic. I'm a loser. I use girls, take advantage of them. You were just telling me the truth, but my stupid brain wasn't able to comprehend it, or the fact Carly wouldn't want me."

"I am really sorry for that. I shouldn't have ever said that to you. I would normally never admit this, but if Carly had picked you over me, I wouldn't have minded. I know you would take better care of her than I will, and I know you love her just as much as I do."

"Well Carly didn't 'pick me', so it doesn't matter."

Sam shifted in her seat uncomfortably, "The more I think about it, and I thought about it against this morning, the more I realize that saying Carly would never love you was wrong.. I should've been telling you that someone else would."

Freddie laughed. Here was the girl who never let up on him, never gave him a moments peace without having to earn it, singing his apparent praises. "Carly must have said something for you to be talking to me like this, ya know, without vomiting or punching me."

Sam nodded a yes, "Carly does love you Freddie, but just not in the way you want."

"I just wish it wouldn't hurt as much."

"I know you will find a girl who really loves you, and you will love her back. It might take a while, but I promise, ask Wendy out, or maybe meet up with Melanie next time she comes down." Sam's eyes lit up, as usual when a plan was forming in her head, although this wasn't the time or place to propel it into action, and she quickly returned to the almost solemn topic of discussion already taking place. "I'm also sorry about telling you about what me and Carly do together."

"It wasn't about what you did, but about how you told me. It just reminded me what I wasn't ever going to have that. When you were telling me that stuff, it was like a weapon you were using against me. You can tell me, talk to me about that if you need someone to talk to, but please, if you do, just be happy when you tell me, or if it's about a fight, then want to help yourself. Carly's love should never be a weapon. It devalues her, and what you share together, what no-one, who am I kidding, what I'll _never_ get to experience."

"I never really looked at it like that Benson. Looks like you are as smart as Carly says you are, even if I don't quite believe it myself right now. I should probably apologize to Carly as well after this. Wow, 2 apologies in one day. I think that's a Puckett family record. By the way, will you still come get drunk and fight with me?"

"I dunno, maybe, I'll have to ask Carly if it's cool, how bout this, I won't start any fights, but if we happen to get into any, I'll be right there beside you."

"Deal." They both laughed together.

Shortly after, Freddie turned serious again. "I guess I better promise to get over Carly." Freddie wondered to himself if that was even possible, if it could happen, if he'd ever stop comparing every single girl to Carly, an impossible comparison, because Carly was, in his eyes, perfect. Yet no-one ever is with continued exposure. Freddie would have to learn to deal with that.

"Why? I know you think it might be a phase, some college experimental shit come early, that maybe one day Carly will come to her senses and drop me."

"If it's a phase, I'll be there once it's over, and if it's not, I'll go to your commitment ceremony or whatever it is 2 chicks do these days." Freddie didn't even look like he believed what he was saying.

"You don't really think it's a phase do you?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I know your only real fear."

"And for my information, just what exactly is that?" Pfft. Sam Puckett didn't fear anything.

"You are terrified of losing Carly, and Melanie. Spencer too. Maybe even me." Freddie was terrified of losing Carly, Spencer, his mother, and yeah, even Sam. In different ways, they both let very sheltered lives, and had come to rely on a handful of people for support and just friendship.

"Don't flatter yourself nub." They both laughed, no matter the fights, the problems, both knew, that they both needed each other.

"You can't bear the thought of losing Carly. Because of that, I know you will do everything you can to keep her happy."

"Damn right I will."

"If you keep her happy, she will never leave you. I have this theory, I could never say no to Carly, and Carly can't say no to you."

"What about me?"

"By the way that triangle formed, you shouldn't be able to say no to me, but that clearly isn't the case. It's doesn't really matter in the end, Carly can't say no to you, and she never will if you keep her happy. You would go up against the entire world to keep Carly happy, both of us would, and so Carly will never leave you. Not now. Not ever."

"I'm actually touched by that Fredster, I didn't know you thought I was good inside, and yeah, I'll be good, to you, and to Carly, and if I'm good, I know Carly won't ever leave me, I won't let her, I won't let myself get to a stage that Carly would leave."

They sat there, just watching each other, thinking, for minutes, just as Sam was about to get up, Freddie spoke up one last time.

"Which is why Carly will never love me." That was the start of Freddie's new life. He was sad enough to cry, just a little, because most of his crying had been done in the weeks and months previously, but it was like a huge weight had lifted off his shoulders at the same time, Sam was watching that weight gone, washing over him like rain.

Sam opened her mouth, let out "Freddie... I..." but the words trailed off.

There was nothing left to say.

**End.**

**AN: **So there you have it. Finito. I hoped you enjoyed it, and please review, with any thoughts on the end of the story, I'll definitely reply to you.

**Limstella**: Thanks, the pairing is Cam, but the main part of the story, in my view, is Freddie and Sam, and how they have both changed, and how they both need to change some more, in the aftermath of a decision by Carly. C1 introduces the story, C2 shows Freddie's struggle to deal with Carly's rejection, C3 shows Carly struggling with her decision as well as opening Sam's eyes somewhat as to Freddie's problems.

C4, now that you have read it, is Sam helping Freddie start on the road to overcoming the problems that were shown in the previous chapters.


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